Drunk hangs

I don't know where to start or what to say. I need to just start typing and see what comes out.

So yesterday was a super fun day. I picked her up and we went to the park Chris and Cassie's wedding was at. We did some Pokemon Go walks and tried to get her a Raikou which didn't happen. But the park was super pretty and I even packed a little food for us. After that we stopped by some stores to get what we needed for the evening/morning. I mean seeing the plan was get drunk and it was a holiday (no buses) I thought she may just be staying the night for safety sake. Not that I would want her to take a bus home after drinking ono no way.

Hanging out at my place again was super fun. Played cards which I finally won a game for a change xD and played a lot of Guitar hero. That's pretty much it xD. I made a simple dinner and she paid for pizza we didn't eat till the next day but it was so damn good still. We got a little touchy but then she got sick and I felt really bad about it. She curled up/flopped but and I was kinda buzzed/drunk but I was like hey I'll protect you//snug//? From the sick? lamo

I won't go into detail about what happened but it was really nice having someone to sleep next to again honestly...I don't wanna go to sleep alone tonight ono . Anyhow we talked some the next day and I was awkward of course but not too bad. Like I'm getting better at opening up with her. I was like hey I got feels but like they feel different because things are actually getting better. I stopped short of saying much else, I'm sure I said some other stuff but like it wasn't too important...just me like babbling? She admitted she had mixed feelings but gave in to her physical needs like I did. She also mentioned she didn't want to be in a relationship which kinda like took me off guard. Like I didn't say anything about that? Maybe she was just making sure we were on the same page...which is good. I mean I have flirted with that idea but like //shrug// just not sold on it yet. Not that it matters anyway lamo. But I was thinking it would get weird after that and it sorta was but I think it was mostly be being quiet. Watched more anime, took a nap and I drove her home where we were singing in the car and laughing and just having a good time...which was like really nice. I was worried I had like made a mistake or something by giving in to my needs and then talking with her but like...it didn't feel like a mistake at all. Still felt like she was/is my best friend. So I'm kinda like happy right now...which is like good. aha but still confusing xD

babble dooone.
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    indifferent indifferent

I matter?

They keep reminding me my feels and physical needs matter. Which is what I need right now. I'm often so nervous about opening up my feelings to others. And when in do it usually gets like messy. Like too many details. But like that's just how I feel and I can't help that so why make myself miserable stressing over it. So I'm definitely trying... It's just a thing I'm learning


I'm so confused with my feels. I have so many feels. Idekrn and it makes me hella moody. I'm like seriously crushing on a few people right now? What am I in high school? I'm such a child. I'm at work so I should probably stop.

But the other day I gave her a weird high five and we held hands for a moment...I wanted to hold on but I'm not okay with my physical urges sometimes so I let go :T //sigh

I want to talk to her about how I feel..and the other day I made progress by apologizing. I bet she can't even tell how I feel. Idek how I feel though. So I guess I'll stay quiet for now

First Blog in years

Wow, It's been a while huh? Last post was in 2011 I think. A lot has happened since then but I can't write all of it out. I did move out of my parents in the summer of 2012 and have been living in Minneapolis ever since. I still work at Target but it's only every other Saturday morning. My main job is being an instrument tech at a surgery center. I've been there for two years this Sept. I enjoy that job for the most part. If someone told me a few years ago I'd be making $18 plus an hour I'd be like you crazy. Plus I still umpire baseball some.

My parents did recently move out of Brooklyn Park and into Oak grove. Doubling the distance and travel to see them. I'm not use to it yet. Not that I would see them that much but I still found myself in BP enough.

Dating? Welp I'm single again and for about 2.5 months. Since Ashley broke up with me (at this point I'm glad things didn't work out) I dated around but nothing quite stuck. So after a few years of putting myself out there to be rejected/hurt I got pretty jaded about the dating world. But then I met Sara and well, things were really nice for a while. I guess things didn't work out. We dated for close to 2 years (well just a few days [5] short of our 2 years). Honestly I could say more on the matter but I should just stopppp for now. Another day perhaps. ono

I HAZ DOG! I got Vanna back in the fall of 2014. She's the love of my life XD . She's a lot of work but I'm still so happy to have her. She'll be 8 this fall.

I've made some new friends since moving, and also lost some along the way. It happens. //shrugs// I still like to play video games but I don't have as much time as I use to. I play board games, card games and I even get to RP now. Which I didn't really get to do much of before. So I'm happy about that. Living in Minneapolis is nice, it gets me to do things more often but I can't live here forever.

What am I doing with my life? Well I'm part of a community band that meets once a week and playing concerts throughout the year. I've been role playing once a week as well. I play a lot of Pokemon Go and some DS here and there. I've been watching a lot more anime then I use to. Opening up to new shows is niiice ^_^ Also joined a new site called caedon and I've been enjoying it.

Anyhow I'm running out of things to say so I'll call it quits for now.

WAIT- I forgot I started seeing a therapist. Haha, we only have had one session but //shrugs// was okay. Last time I saw one was back in high school. If you look back on those posts you can see why. Basically Kayla would say she wanted to kill herself but not to tell anyone. I couldn't deal with that so I told my parents who then told hers. We broke up and I never saw her again and that really messed with me. Like I know I did the right thing...but it hurt me do god damn much.

Anyhow That's all for now. I mean it this time. : P
  • Current Music
    listening to the rain coming down

I don't need your guilt trip Target

So lately some of my friends haven't been getting along so well. Jake and Dustin did have the fight at the Cabin, but that was brewing for sometime. Also Jake and Joey I guess don't like Jessica much.

So last night I was vomiting most of the night. From about midnight to seven I was making trips to the bathroom at least once an hour. I think it must have been something I ate, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I had some left over Chipotle, some raisins, a diet coke, some Acetaminophen for a headache and some Target brand NyQuil. Somewhere along the line I ate something my body didn't agree with and I was vomiting all night. So sometime around 6 I call up work and tell a leader on Duty that I am not going to be able to work today. The first things out of his mouth was "Are you serious? We are already short handed."I told him I know what it's like, I just worked yesterday which we were short handed and it sucked but I have been throwing up all night and I can't come to work like that. He told me to rest up and that was that. I did want to work today, I could use the money but I couldn't and I don't need his quilt trip. So I've pretty much been in my bed all day.

Sometime soon I'll be getting a new phone so I'm taking my time to pick something I'll really like. I would like a small touch screen phone with at least a 5.0 megapixel camera. Also I am looking into selling plasma at Biolife for some extra cash each month that I can save towards something like a trip or college and my physical at biolife is this Tuesday.

Tomorrow classes start up for me again and I'm looking forward to it. Lately Ashley has been on my mind again again, but I really don't have anything new to say. I just have had plenty of free time laying around sick. I just miss her, and all the good times we had. It will be nice to have classes Monday-Friday this semester to distract me.

Also if you haven't heard about this shooting you should check it out. :[ I think the greatest tragedy of it all is that a 9 year old girl was killed.

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    exhausted exhausted

Winter cleaning.

So I'm sick today which is just great. I got a sore throat and a running nose, so nothing really serious. Figures I get sick while I'm on winter break. However I used most of the time today to clean up my room and toss out a lot of some old clutter. Some of the stuff I tossed dates back to high school, but if I really want to move out I can't take everything little thing along with me.

Tomorrow I'm taking a tour of a house for rent in Coon Rapids, it's off of Foley. Jeff and Dustin will be coming along with me so that's exciting. Hopefully we'll find a place soon.

Now it's back to my Community Marathon. :]

Community Clip -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZJHamGNOFQ&feature=player_embedded#!

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Winter break so far

So far it's been pretty nice. I had a really nice Christmas Eve and Christmas day, and got to see my Cousin's daughter Zoey. She's so cute, babies are amazing to hold. My Aunt is also expecting in January, so I'm looking forward to that!  I got all kinds of goodies for Christmas, I now have a bass Guitar which I'm looking forward to figuring out how to play it. I also completed my LOST series, I'm now up to date on The office, and got the first season of Community. That and some other goodies. I'm really really excited for the Cabin this Friday, it should be sweet! Next time I'm going to try to plan it far out in advance so people can make it up for the whole weekend!

I swear I just got a haircut like two months ago and I need another soon. I also picked up a shift for tomorrow morning so I really should go to bed here soon, but that most likely won't happen.

Don't feed the trolls.

Read this first for context: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=45810205  <----- trolling

I have known Jeff for many years but lately he has been treating poorly. I don't feel respected and feel like he isn't a positive influence in my life at times. Sometimes I ask myself after days like today, Why am I his friend? I try not to be a negative influence in people's lives, I know I can't make everyone happy but I can at least not be an asshole. Last time there was a big incident I let it blow over, I gave us some space and before I knew it things were cool. However I really should talk to him sometime about how he's making me feel before things get messy. 

However this has been a good way to test my temper, and thankfully I've been able to keep my cool pretty well. I'm pretty sure a younger me would have exploded.

On a lighter note, I have been looking into a few jobs. One is being a teller at a banking company my uncle works at (or any other company that's hiring) or being a waiter at Perkins or another restaurant. I'm really tired of working at Target, so I hope to use my winter break to find a new Job.

Also I have some good news, my Cousin had her second kid on the 21st! I'm excited to see baby Zoey this Christmas eve. Also my Aunt is expecting her second kid in early January!
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    irritated irritated